The Kansas City Chiefs made a surprise announcement earlier that they’ve decided not to sign Travis Kelce to a new contract.

“While we appreciate what Travis has done here,” said Vice President of Football Operations Joe Barron, “We also have to look at the big picture. The relationship is ruining the experience for the fans, and they’re blaming us.”

Barron says the team and the city in general have suffered to the tune of millions of dollars worth of added security, fencing, and police overtime. “It’s easier when a president comes.”

The team’s leadership, including Patrick Mahomes’ Spiritual Advisor Chuck, believes that Kelce will be far happier in a California or New York-based team.

“Go play for The Eagles or something,” said Chuck, “that’s a short ride to Taylor’s Manhattan penthouse and a slightly longer trip to go protest freedom in our nation’s once-great capital.”

Chuck was upset because he had the Niners for a month’s pay and another $34K on blocks he found at various spots around town, none of which hit. “It’s like a conspiracy I tell you,” he complained to the management at Caesar’s, “I’m never coming to another Super Bowl in this town.

The manager comped Chuck a room out of pity and asked us to stop feeding him or he’ll keep coming back. God Bless America.